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Sep. 8th, 2012

Where Have I Been?

I have been reading Harry Potter fan fiction like a heroin addict licks pixie sticks! Also, I've been reading Firefly/Serenity fan fiction, Phantom of the Opera fan fiction and lastly, reading Leverage fan fiction.

Then, I've been sleeping a heck of a lot. Seriously, I've logged 11-12 hours a day nearly five days a week sometimes. Don't ask me why, my body just wants to nap...lol.

I've also been editing people's creative writing essays and fan fiction stories.

That's why I've been ignoring my little blog here for so long. I've even recently gotten back into my artistic side by doing art journaling, Artist trading cards, bookmarks, and attempting to do the illustrations for my short stories myself. I miss my artsy side.

Anyways, I just wanted to let you all know I didn't die. I just got a little too lazy and a little too obsessed with reading FREE fiction online...lol. Sad, such a book addict I am.



Nov. 22nd, 2010

Weird Knitted Things

I know, it's been a LOOOONNNGGG time since I posted. I have no excuse. I'm lazy, okay, sheesh.

Anyways, I've come across a disturbing trend in knitting. One of my acquaintances has become a knitter (OH HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD LOOK OUT!) and now knits constantly. I asked her why she chose knitting as something to do with herself and her reply was "Because you can't masturbate in public".

That is the kind of woman who has taken up knitting. And she's already well on her way to becoming addicted. She wants to knit me a sweater. I told her fine as long as it's not some ugly color. I even bought the yarn (yes, I'm an enabling friend...lol) which had dark blues, greens and purples with some odd patches of gray and brown thrown in. I will post her finished creation (if she ever does finish it).

In the meantime, I gathered up pics of weird knitted things that I showed her (She doesn't want me to mention her name, I don't know why)
and am posting them here to share for all. I think my friend is really wanting to knit the facial ones. I'm telling you, I'm afraid for my sweater. I only hope it has two arms and looks like a sweater.

See what I mean?

I just shake my head.

I am afraid, very afraid.

I think this would be better than implants...lol.

I do not have words.

I can see why this appeals.
snort, snicker, giggle

This just creeps me out.

I like this one. Makes me hungry!


This won't make kids eat better!

A perfect item to prank a grandparent.
heh heh heh heh

The end.

Oct. 14th, 2010

Welcome Back!

Well, it's been a loooonnnng time since I was last here. I've been writing in an actual journal book instead of here as I had personal issues to work through. As much as I'm comfortable talking about myself, there are somethings I refuse to put here as it could be used against me as payback or blackmail...lol.

So, what have I missed?

snort, snicker, giggle

I am still living in Anchorage, Alaska. I'm still a resident apartment manager. My five year anniversary was last month. This has been the longest job I've held. Sad, isn't it? But this job suits me. It has allowed me to pay off one of my student loans, pay off two thirds of my commercial debts (I'm now credit card debt free) and even put money into savings so I can get healthcare when I need it.

I turn 40 this December and I'm freaking out. FORTY YEARS OLD PEOPLE!!!!! And I still haven't completed everything on my "Things To Do Before I Turn 40" list! I'm not even halfway down it! I don't feel 40 at all. I am not looking forward to being really old, like 60 mor something and have a frail body with a strong mind. Because you know I won't be treated like an adult, no, I will be treated as a freaking toddler! THAT is what I am facing in my old age! I know it!

Maybe I'll be lucky and die before that happens? Hey, the world is supposed to end in 2 years, so it could happen! I have to go now, I'm depressed. I think I have a gallon of butter pecan ice cream in my freezer.   snort, snicker, giggle.

Jul. 16th, 2010

A Whirlwind of Drama!

I cannot believe how time just goes by! I've been working at getting a third of the building rented out before the college students come a'callin' (they just tear up an apartment and disobey the rules); working on my second novel (which is slow going due to the research I've had to do); tutoring some junior high kids in literature, writing, science and history/government (it's how I earn extra cash); and finally, I've been sightseeing around Anchorage and Wasilla area.

I've been here nearly five years and I still haven't seen much of Alaska! It's sad, I came here to see and do things and all I've managed to accomplish so far is get 50% out of debt, grow my hair long, learn to ski (cross country) and know which bar has the most good looking men...lol.

I think I need to insert a photo. Yes, I have that urge to do so! The picture is at midnight. Yes, you're reading that right, MIDNIGHT. See how bright it is! If there weren't so many clouds, it'd be brighter!

The view is from my kitchen window and I'm on the second floor. I'm facing West. This is midnight! It's so funny to see the street lights come on when it's still bright enough to see.

I must go now. I have to show apartments so I can get a better paycheck. VIVA LA PAYCHECK!!!!!

Jun. 15th, 2010


Well, I just can't seem to get inspired to post in here, lately. Nor am I inspired to work on any art projects. I have a bookcase full of half finished or just started projects gathering dust. I don't know why I feel so....ugh.

I've been working at getting the empty apartments rented out before the next wave of college students come a'knocking. I am tired of dealing with college students. They are noisy, irresponsible and leave the apartment worse than when they moved in. Now, I know that not ALL college students are like that, but when it's 8 out of ten that do so, you can see why I'm not a happy camper.

I'm also dealing with my health. I am sleeping more because I am tired more. The doctors here in Alaska are quacks who see me as some whiny, lazy patient. I don't whine! LOL. But it's sad when I know more about my lymphedema than the doctors I'm PAYING do. Fed up with nearly 5 years of trying to get treated and/or cured, I have sent letters to a dozen medical clinics that treat my condition. I asked for advice and what would be the benefits of living in their facilities full time. I hope to hear from them soon.

I'd like to live long enough to have one of my books published...lol. I'm still working on my second one. It's slow going as work and fatigue take up most of my time.

I am not depressed. At least, not yet. I have hope and I am a fighter. If I can't get rid of the excess fluid in my legs, then I'm cutting them off. I bet I'd lose half my weight if I do so! WOOHOO!!!

Anyways, I will do my best to update and post my observations more.

Hugs to all!

May. 20th, 2010

I'm baaaaaaaaaack!

Wowza, it's been 5 months and then some, since I've been on this site. The main reason I've haven't posted anything is due to severe eyestrain. I had trouble seeing and the headaches were impossible to deal with.

Luckily, I didn't have any tumors or glaucoma or cornea damage. I was just staring at a computer screen for more than 6 hours a day with no brightness filter, trying to read small print. So now, after a long sabbatical from most of my internet world, I am back.

I wear special glasses that diffuses the brightness on a computer screen. I've changed the screen size to  where I don't have to squint to read anything and I try to stay off the computer most days. Well, okay, I try to keep on the computer no more than 6 hours a day...lol. That includes work related computer time as well.

It's hard for me. I rarely watch tv now and I've been reading fan fiction on fanfiction.net to save money on buying books. This is the longest I've gone (5 months) without buying books..EVER!!!!!

Well, I just wanted to post something to let those interested know I'm back. It took me this long to catch up on reading emails and replying to them.

I must go now. I have exactly 2 hours left of my imposed limit and I want to play "Scrabble"...lol.

Jan. 7th, 2010

It's 2010 and Where's MY FRICKIN Jet Pack!?!

It's day 7 of the year 2010 and I'm sitting on a big pile of technological disappointment! By now we humans should be living in self sustainable biospheres and skyscrapers zipping around in our "space" cars and going short distances in jet packs.

I'd be happy with a car like the one above as it seems pretty fast. I like going fast. It's a buzz I enjoy. But instead, I'm stuck using old technology from the beginning of the 2oth Century to get my happy happy joy joy from. WTF people!?!

We're supposed to be the FUTURE for Chrissakes! We're supposed to be wearing organic clothing and using lightsabers and teleportation. In the very least monorails and easy and fast public zippy trains high above the ground. So why are we still living like it's 1999!?!

I've even been thinking of living in my own future home designed by me (with some help of course) in order to satisfy my want of living in a time that's supposed to be FUTURISTIC!!!

Why is our planet still looking like the turn of the century? The only city looking futuristic is Dubai! A freakin city in the middle of the desert!!!!! A DESERT!!!!! I think our governments need to stop with the stuffing of their panties with taxpayer money and start getting us where we should be! I want my spaceship!!!!

I think we citizens of Earth should stop paying our governments any salaries and use that money to build the self sustainable habitats that are awesome and VERY ecologically sound! I am all for easy peasy of living!

I live in a small space as it is right now and there's even furniture to accommodate small spaces like the dining set above. Isn't THAT freakin awesome!?! THIS IS THE FUTURE AND I WANT IT!!!!!

I'd even go to sorting events if I could be guaranteed a decent seat! Look at the stadium city above, that's what I call seating! What I call best use of space and design! I think Japan or China would have a Stadium City before the USA would. Dammit.

I think we humans need to think of the future and this planet's limited resources. I think we need to change our priorities (greed, sex, drugs, video games/entertainment, selfishness) and start thinking of (communities, education, sciences, GOOD sex, cures for diseases, wonderful pre treatments and vaccines for genetic health disorders and the common flu). After all people, I cannot do it alone!

So, if I do not have my #@%@!*$ JETPACK by the end of this year, there's no telling what I will do. Maybe leave this planet after building my own spaceship and live on a distant moon outside the Milky Way. Because I am sick of the future arriving we don't have the fun toys and lifestyle that goes with it!

Dec. 30th, 2009

Ahhhhh Not The Gold Lame Bikini!!!!

I have noticed a plethera of men wearing gold lame (pronounced LAHM MAY) bikini briefs! Not only in movies and tv shows but on the streets and at pools and beaches.

What prompts men to wear such a shiny piece of fabric?

I see women wearing various cuts and styles of the damn thing and I wonder how much the women charge per hour for "their services". Should I question the men in the same manner when I see them wearing these things?

Every time I watch a movie now where there is a funny drunk in it, I cringe waiting for when he drops trou and shows off his shiny gold lame underwear.

What is the appeal? This is not sexy! I will not even THINK of having sex in any form with you if I see you in these things!

My GAYDAR goes off every time I see a man in these things! The song "Macho Man" rips through my skull at decibels so loud I slap the nearest person next to me and usually its someone who slaps back. It's very annoying to explain for the hundredth time to the police why I slapped a person because of a gold lame bikini.

Are the men self aware? Do they realize what they are saying to people when they trapse about the public showing off these gaudy gold package covers? Why hasn't these men been slapped by their mamma's!?!

I see some women wear gold bikini's or one piece swimsuits and I'm not cringing or covering my eyes in shame. Why is that? Because a woman's body is MADE for gold while men should stick with a baggy cotton polyester blend surfer shorts. Women do not want to see you squished your man parts into such a tiny space such as a bikini. Your muscles may be big in other areas but no one wants to play with you under the sheets when your winkie is so small!

Please, for the love of God, stop wearing these things! I even get up and leave at a male strip show if I see them wearing these things as I know they're gay and I can't have a sexual fantasy involving a gay guy! I try, I really do but then I see the damn shiny gold undies and I think "GAY GAY GAY GAY" and I start to cry because the gaywards manage to even ruin my fantasies like they do in reality! AAGGGHH!!!!

So please, whether you're straight or gay or both, lay off the gold lame! Try tighty whitey for a change! Or a cool solid color in cotton! Try them, you may just find your inner MAN!!!!

Dec. 22nd, 2009

Together Forever

My birthday was a quiet one. I had a few birthday wishes from family and two from friends. My "close" friend Lori didn't call nor send an email or even a card in the snail mail. I was disappointed. But I shrugged it off after I got another call from an old old old friend whom I haven't heard from since HIGH SCHOOL back in 1989!!!!! I was flabbergasted to hear from Michelle! Anyways, we chatted and got caught up in telling each other about what we've done since high school. And I've come to a sad fact. I am alone and because of my choices in life, I may just be elderly alone. I do not know why this is affecting me so much at this time. Maybe it's because I'm now 39 and I'm supposed to have led such a wonderful life. Wasting no time living and exalting in the wonderous being that is ME! Instead, I made life choices that kept me from being who I wanted to be because I felt LOYAL to others. Because I thought I was NEEDED by others. Instead of living for myself, I did for others and look where it's gotten me, still living paycheck to paycheck in a place I do not own. I have no car, no expensive entertainment system, cell phone, Ipod or even good quality furniture to take with me wherever I move to. But I made the choices and I have to suffer for them. I am determined more than ever to do for myself as my friends have done for themselves in the past. Michelle has really shown me that I was someone everyone wanted for a friend but NO ONE could be that kind of friend to me. And why is that? What is it about me that's so hard to copy? I can't be high on a pedestal, I wobble too much....lol. I also allowed my fear of getting pregnant and being stuck with a child to keep me from developing any sexual relationships. And there have been a few men in my life I would have done Twister in the sheets for, let me tell you! But I couldn't afford a child and I had too much pride to go on welfare to support a child. So I made myself distant and now here I am 39 years old and technically a spinster (but I'm not a virgin spinster, at least!). I see my friends and even my ex friends live their lives as if they have no responsibilities or culpability. How can they do that? I cannot lose control like they do. I am afraid I'd be a victim to assault or kidnapped and physically tortured until I died if I let go, even once. I am the responsible one and I have paid for it. Even now, at 39 years old, I have a job that requires me to be sober ALL THE TIME and to be VERY responsible ALL THE TIME as I'm a resident apartment manager. I get paid to be responsible. I think I put myself into this box of a job so I can use it as an excuse to NOT lose control. I have missed out on the fun of my youth because I thought I had to be a certain person and it turns out that I didn't need to be that person at all. No one wanted nor needed me to be that person but I took that role because it's in my nature to nurture and "mother". How funny that is considering my fear of getting pregnant and raising kids, huh?  I missed out on wild and wacky dates. I missed out on clubbing and dancing in high heels. I missed out on Friday night drinks with the girls at one of their apartments and dishing over guys, love, life and everything. Because I felt I had to be responsible. That no one should have to take care of me or my problems due to idiotic decisions made while being fun and happy. I still feel that my problems are my problems and I rarely confide in people. I don't get the sense of "togetherness" or friendship or bonding when I blab about my life's problems. I instead feel like an immature junior girl  who can't solve her own problems. And yet, I can listen to other people's...up to a point. Now at the tender age of 39, I can't stand listening to someone blather on and on about the same problem day in and out. I can't do it anymore. So I don't. I tell them to either fix it or shut the hell up. Maybe I need to work on my delivery...lol...as it seems to make me lose friends...lol. I am going to have to make some changes in my life. I do not want to be old but maybe if I had someone to share my oldness with, it won't be so bad. And I no longer fear getting pregnant as being obese all these years and having lymphedema on top of that has made me sterile (WOOHOOOO!!!!!) but I still get my monthly visit from Aunt Flo (which totally sucks dammit!!!). At least I don't have to worry about getting preggers. I am going to lose my excess weight through diet and exercise. I have no use for people who do it medically with lapbands, tummy stapling and gastric bypass. They only put the weight back on and they learn NOTHING of how to live healthy. I want to lose the weight to be healthier, to wear better clothes, to look good and feel good. I am sure that my physical pains are due to being overweight. And Michelle has assured me that being fit makes for better sex. And I'm all about losing weight with THAT for motivation! By the way, I do not believe that by being "thin" will make me attract men. The men I want to attract keep themselves fit and they go outside and do things. I want to be able to go outside with them and do things, too (like wrestling nekkid in the mud, skinnydipping, skiing nekkid at Hillside Resort during Fur Rondy). I won't get too skinny as I love curves and having flesh. But I will be under 175 pounds at least. And above 135! That leaves me with so much leeway! WOOHOO!!! Okay, enough about me. Above is a drawing of who I'd like have as my Guardian Angel. Isn't he dreamy? Guard me baby! Guard me! WOOHOO!

Dec. 16th, 2009


It's my birthday today! I'm 39 years OLD. OLD.OLD.OLD.OLD.OLD.OLD!!!!!!

I cannot believe I'm 39 years old! I haven't finished doing everything on my "Things To Do Before I Turn 40" list yet! I only have one year to accomplish all of the following:

The list was written as ideas came to me, not in order of importance.

1). Shake my nekkid heinie at a group of drunken frat boys

2). Show my boobs at Mardi Gras

3). Read ALL of Mark Twain's works

4). Learn Mandarin Chinese

5). Learn to drive a stick shift

6). Have sex with Matthew McConaghy

7). Head an intervention with Joss Whedon over his inability to let the Fox Network alone

8). Lose all excess weight and get perky breast surgery

9). Sing "I Touch Myself" at karoake night at some dive

Travel the British Isles and Eastern Europe

11). Do the Navy SEAL Challenge (at least once)

12). Watch Navy SEALS do the challenge (at least a dozen times to be sure I committed it to memory!)

13). Go white water rafting

14). Visit all of the NASA Space Centers in the USA and talk with engineers about space travel

15). Speak in front of the House of Reps and all of Congress about the crappy job they're doing

16). Move into a permanent home and live in it and own it (MINE MINE MINE ALL MINE!)

17). Get my books published

18). Get a teaching license (well, I should get a freakin degree first, right?) and teach literature

19). Fall in love

20). Have someone in my life I can share my life with 24/7

21). Well, 12/7.

22). Okay, 12/5!!! I need my space, OKAY!?!

23). Learn to forgive but not forget

24). Go to a formal dance/affair and actually be there as a guest and NOT as the help

I am having a lovely chocolate birthday cake for my birthday and steak with potatoes for my birthday dinner! YUMMY!!!!!
And NO! I won't be eating the WHOLE cake! Sheesh! I will save some for later..........this evening! LMAO!!!!!

Why is it that I only take pictures of myself when I'm avoiding sleep late at night? Sheesh! Here's a pic of myself trying to be cheerful about turning 39! I'm trying to be happy about getting so old!

I am not totally despondent over being 39. I am glad I'm not 49 or 59 or 69 right now. It would suck to be this financially unstable at those ages. I am much better off now than I was last year! I managed to keep money in my savings and not spend the whole amount on Christmas gifts. That took A LOT of effort! I enjoy giving gifts but I also need to look out for myself. And I'm on my way to doing so!

Ugh, maturity! Responsibility! Ugh!


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